On Thursday January 9, 2014, Edmonton Public Library Writer-in-Residence Jason Lee Norman came for a visit to CTV Morning Live to talk about the library's program.

Prior to his appearance on-air, Norman says that "in a moment of extreme hubris" he mentioned that he could write a short story about the show while waiting to appear - And write he did.

The resulting story was shared live to the CTV Morning Live hosts and audience Thursday morning.

You can read the complete short story below (or download it for posterity if you so desire).

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CTV Morning Live

A short story by Jason Lee Norman (republished with permission)

 

It was yet another frosty January morning in Edmonton and the people of the city were still in their warm beds and hitting their snooze buttons for the second, third, and maybe even fourth times. While the city was just starting to wake up, the members of the CTV Morning Live team had been at work for hours, preparing to inform and entertain their viewers.

Stacey Brotzel is staring into her dressing room mirror. She is calm and relaxed and her golden hair is as bright and vibrant as a prairie sunrise. She is preparing for the morning’s show. She looks into the mirror and practices saying the word "Chutney" over and over. Chutney...Chutney..."What exactly is Chutney?" Stacey Brotzel wonders. "Is it like marmalade? What exactly is marmalade? I think it’s made from oranges...". Just then a producer knocks on the door.

"5 minutes Ms. Brotzel."

"Thank you Chutney- I mean marmalade- I mean Mike."

 

In another part of the CTV studios Jess Beyer is combing his hair. He is counting the strokes:

"997, 998, 999..."

"4 minutes Mr. Beyer."

"4 - Now I’ve lost count!"

 

Outside in the parking lot Rob Williams is sitting in his car, eating his birthday cupcakes and listening to Adele’s 'Someone Like You’. A producer waves to him from the window. 3 minutes.

Rob Williams wipes the red velvet from the corners of his mouth.

 

In a secluded corner of the CTV studios, a producer is unplugging Kimberly Wynn from her charging station. Her battery is at 100% charge. The producer sets Kimberly’s Smile setting up to 10. She sets her Charm setting to 10. She sets her Effervescent setting to 10.

2 minutes 'til showtime.