'Get them back into routine': Expert on handling back-to-school anxiety for kids

Child Psychologist, Tammy Schamuhn, joined CTV Morning Live’s Kent Morrison to talk about back-to-school jitters, and how parents can help their kids.

Kent Morrison: School begins soon in the next couple of weeks, and you may have a child who's nervous about going back or maybe going to school for the first time. Tammy, back to school is a big time of the year in the life of a kid. Let's talk about the source of this. Where do these back to school jitters even come from?

Tammy Schamuhn: I think kids just don't know what to expect.
Part of them is really nervous because maybe they've had some bad experiences, but part of them is really excited.
Sometimes we have to make a reframe for our kids.
That anxiety and nerves and being excited, they're all kind of the same thing. We just don't know what to expect. A lot of this is creating predictability and consistency for our kids. You have kids, I have kids, and right now we're getting them back into routine.

Kent: You got to create that structure, which I think a lot of people crave as we come out of summer vacation.
For parents who are dealing with this, they can sense this anxiety may be coming from their kids. What's the best way for them to approach it? To execute the reframe you're talking about?

Tammy: Kids just need to be exposed to what's going to be happening.
So for example, when we go to school, who's their teacher going to be? Who's the principal going to be? What's the playground going to look like?
I take my kids to the playground that they're going to be playing on. I look for other parents and other kids, so there's familiarity.
I have them write a letter to their teacher. I ask my kids, "What do you want your teacher to know?" and find out a little bit about that teacher, show them a picture.
It's just getting them prepared for connection to those people in their lives again, because that's what's going to curb the anxiety.
It's attachment to other adults, where they feel secure.
So how do we connect them with those people? Kids always want to know what's going to happen next.

Kent: That just triggered a memory for me. My parents were teachers, and they did that for me when I was younger.
We went into the classroom beforehand. We got to see where I was going to sit. I totally forgot about it.

Tammy: Exactly. Schools will let parents do this. Just contact them and say your child wants to see the teacher, meet the teacher, see their classroom, go for a tour of the school.
I did this with my son in June already, he's already gone through the whole thing, and he's like, "I know my classroom. I think I know where I'm going to sit."
That creates excitement, but it's always about predictability and consistency.
That's what curbs the anxiety and the relationships that child has with those teachers or the EA or whoever it is.

Kent: Now there may be a temptation, to let your son or daughter miss a day or two. What's the impact?

Tammy: Don't do that because that sends messages to that child that school is as scary as you think it is.
Second message it can send is that they can't handle it. You don't believe they can handle it, and the child needs to know they can handle their anxiety.
Anxiety is a normal emotion. We all have anxiety. We all have happiness, we have sadness, and these feelings come and go.
The more we move towards it, the less big it'll seem.
We can lean into it with connection and with relationships, and that child just has to trust they have it within them. They have that resiliency to handle hard moments.

Kent: If you'd like more information from Tammy, you can visit InstituteofChildpsychology.com.